I recently read this article on MSN, 5 Things to Miss About Being Single, and it got me thinking about the concept of marriage. It seems like we’re surrounded by such negative views towards committed relationships and marriage. This idea that getting married young will ruin the rest of your life baffles me. I got married at the nice young age of 24 and the Hubby and I started dating when I was only 19. Oh no! 19! Most people feel you should date around forever before you settle down. But why date around and waste my time on tons of jerks? If I found a nice caring guy at 19 should I have said “Oh no we can’t date seriously or get married because society says I need to date around for another 10 years or so. Can you come back then?” Yea right… what would the Hubby have said “Oh sure hun I’ll see you when your 29.” Ha, oh please. Just the concept that married people are miserable is ridiculous. Not all married people are miserable. My parents are happily married and were even younger than me when they wed. They’re going on 30 years of marriage by they way. Miserable people will be miserable whether they are married or not. This MSN article only enforces the idea that being in a committed relationship or a marriage is a negative thing to do.
So here’s my response to this article:
1. The Freedom To Just Get Up and Go
“…I miss not having to pay attention to my phone and I miss spur of the moment adventures; now, I run everything past my boyfriend to make sure our plans don’t conflict.”
First off I paid attention to my phone whether I was single or not. Even when I’m with Jay I’m paying attention to my phone constantly. Who doesn’t pay attention to their phone 24/7. Let’s not blame that on being in a relationship.
Running things past your significant other should not be a negative action. If two people are in a happy and fulfilling relationship what’s the problem with running things past each other before you make plans? If I’m thinking of inviting friends over why would I not want to run it by my husband? Does it take any extra effort to say “Friday night I’m thinking of having so and so over do you mind?” No it doesn’t. No extra energy is being spent on my part to ask a simple question. And if our plans conflict, again not the end of the world. We’ll reschedule a few things. Is everyone so lazy that’s become too much work?
2. Getting My Number Up
“I wish I would have been more promiscuous…”
I can tell you without a doubt I DO NOT wish I would have slept around with more guys. What does sleeping around with more men accomplish? Absolutely nothing. Is it really such a hard thing to be faithful to just one person nowadays. Jeez how society has changed. It’s now a positive to sleep around.
3. Having a Good Cry
“I put on “Dirty Dancing” the other night after my boyfriend fell asleep and I cried and cried and cried. It felt so good to cry for no reason…”
Um really?? How is this even an argument as to why being single is better?? Because you can cry whenever you want? I cry when ever I feel like and being married has never stopped me. That’s all I’ll say about that.
4. Having the Bed to Myself
“It’s so, so cliché, but I don’t even care…”
Buy a bigger bed. Seriously, you’ll have more room. Again is this really the reason to stay single?
“I started seeing my boyfriend when all of my best friends were all single…I was jealous of how much time they got to spend together doing whatever they wanted…”
This one actually bothered me the most. The Hubby and I started dating when all of my close friends were single. Not once did I ever feel jealous because my friends were out doing something together and I was with the Hubby. Lots of my friends are still single and I don’t feel jealous even now. I cherish my time with my husband and cherished it before we were married. Jealousy is a bad habit anyway. Why waste time being jealous of what someone else is doing when you can enjoy what you’re doing. This quote reinforces the idea that people in committed relationships can’t spend time by themselves or with friends. There is no reason why a person in a relationship can’t have a life outside of that relationship. If you want to spend time with your friends then go see them. How simple is that? Don’t sit around being jealous get up and go see your friends. You can still go do whatever you want with them. It’s healthy to spend time without the significant other anyway.
Being single is neither better nor worse. It’s a lifestyle choice that’s all. What irks me is our culture puts being single on a pedestal and puts being in a relationship down. I know people will probably think I feel this way because I’m young and I don’t know any better. As someone once told me (I will not mention names) “…you don’t know any better because your young. You’ll see, all married people are miserable. Come back to me in 15 years.” Well I do hope I run into this person again in 15 years. I hope I will prove that marriage can work and Jay & I are still happy despite the negative comments. What I really hope though is that society will stop putting down the institution of marriage and committed relationships. It may not be for everyone but being single is not for everyone either.
So there’s my 2 cents.
Anything in bold is a direct quote from 5 Things to Miss About Being Single